emotionally focused therapy

Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a highly effective way to help us understand and strengthen our emotional connection with ourself and others.

When we naturally trust ourselves and have a strong sense of who we can form strong, supportive relationships with others, and when these connections feel safe and good, we are happier and healthier. These principles are therapeutically useful for any relationship where people matter to each other.

The EFT focus is on emotions, and how we manage and use them. Understanding our feelings and the feelings of those around us, leads to healthier and more fulfilling interpersonal interactions.

Developed by Dr Sue Johnson, EFT continues to evolve, and is globally recognised as the gold standard in relationship counselling. EFT is clinically effective and backed by extensive clinical research. Results show positive change across different relationship types, cultural, sexual and gender identities, that continue to last over time.

Grounded in the science of adult attachment, EFT helps us understand our negative cycles — patterns of behaviour, and the fears and unmet attachment needs behind them. By recognising and stepping back from these negative cycles, EFT builds stronger emotional bonds and more positive interactions, leading to deeper connections and less distress.

The theory of negative cycles in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) explains how we get stuck in patterns of interaction that are damaging to our relationships. These negative cycles are usually driven by deep-seated emotional needs and fears that are not being addressed or communicated effectively. Here's a simplified explanation:

  1. Trigger: A disagreement or misunderstanding triggers negative emotions.

  2. Emotional Response: Each partner reacts emotionally, often feeling hurt, rejected, or angry.

  3. Behavioural Reaction: These emotions lead to defensive or attacking behaviours. One partner might withdraw or become distant, while another might become critical or demanding.

  4. Reinforcement: These behaviours reinforce each other's negative feelings and actions, creating a cycle.

This cycle continues, with each of our actions feeding into the other's fears and insecurities, making it difficult to break free from the pattern. EFT helps us recognise these cycles and the underlying emotions driving them, allowing us to communicate our needs more effectively and build more secure and positive relationships.